Gongol.com Archives: March 2025
March 12, 2025
One of the things that gets lost amid the sea of rage-bait posts and faux-movement memes that crowd social media is the subtle art of reading between the lines. Perhaps that's an inevitable byproduct of an "attention economy", in which "Party A DESTROYS Party B" is a clickbait headline formula guaranteed to pay off. But subtlety will eventually have its day once again. ■ Some people call it "Irish diplomacy" and make a buck off selling knick-knacks with various iterations of "The art of telling someone to get lost so that they look forward to taking the trip". But treating any audience gently -- even one that stands in steadfast opposition to the truth, goodwill, or common sense -- is a practice with a long history, endorsed by many successful figures. ■ Calvin Coolidge wrote, "Perhaps one of the reasons I have been a target for so little abuse is because I have tried to refrain from abusing other people. The words of the President have an enormous weight and ought not to be used indiscriminately." ■ Booker T. Washington put it like this: "I early learned that it is a hard matter to convert an individual by abusing him, and that this is more often accomplished by giving credit for all the praiseworthy actions performed than by calling attention alone to all the evil done." ■ And from Benjamin Franklin's writings, we read, "Tart words make no friends; a spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar." ■ It isn't that direct language shouldn't be used from time to time, but that the right words to get things done may vary. Sometimes, subtlety is an impediment to getting a vital message across. But most of the time, a message that can be conveyed bluntly could also be delivered using just a little less firepower. We are human beings, after all, and pride is very good at creating filters through which contrary arguments and challenging logic must pass. ■ Some evils do need to be blasted with unconstrained, unrelenting criticism. But far more things are best combatted with enough restraint that the intelligent ally can recognize her argument being made while the opponent is forced to confront shortcomings in his own thinking without necessarily realizing that he is under fire of criticism. ■ These things aren't easy to do when the temptation to go viral is psychologically (and sometimes monetarily) rewarding. But if words are used not merely to make ourselves feel better or righteous, but to actually achieve persuasive goals instead, then much (if not most) of the time, making way for the audience to read between the lines is the best way to put words to work.
