Brian Gongol
- Ahh, Scrooge. Such a great character...until he becomes unrelatable at the end.
- Steve Hytner as John Delaney
- He's a petty, vindictive, small, evil man. And I don't really need the competition.
- Steve Hytner as John Delaney
- "I don't know what amazes me more...that there are twelve women volunteering to degrade themselves, or that those twelve little photos can turn semi-intelligent men into drooling, monosyllabic oafs."
"What?"
"Huh?"
"Yeah?"
- "You look exactly like my mom. Could you say, 'Don't run with those scissors!'?"
"Don't run with those scissors!"
"Mom!"
"You know, now that I think about it, you kinda' look like my mom. Can you say, 'Pass the bourbon'?"
- Exchange between Fred Savage as Matt Peyser, a "temp", and Steve Hytner as John Delaney
- Peyser, you cannot let guilt force you into marriage. That's what pregnancy's for.
- Maurice Godin as Tim Deale
- "Did she slash your tires and tie you to a burning bed?"
"No."
"Oh. Everyone has a different engagement story."
- Exchange between Steve Hytner as John Delaney and Fred Savage as Matt Peyser
- "Peyser, by the time I'm finished with you, you'll be able to sleep with your mother and lie to your father about it."
"Why would anyone want to do something like that?"
"Don't judge me!"
- Exchange between Maurice Godin as Tim Deale and Fred Savage as Matt Peyser